Well world, here it is! My first blog post.
The cracking of the egg that I have been sitting on for much longer than I had originally expected. For what it’s worth, I honestly know very little about this process. What it takes to become and exist as a blogger. If there is one thing I do know, it’s that I am a voracious dreamer who’s yearning for an outlet. I’m also quite talented at, how do you say, “spilling my guts”. For the longest time I have been told “You think a LOT”. Mind you, this was never as a term of endearment. It was to say, “Calm the hell down, Jess”, “You’re overdoing this” or at times, “I don’t understand you and it makes me uncomfortable.” All valid, I realize. Painful at times, but valid. For as many times as I have heard those four words, I have only ever had two people tell me, “You think a lot”, as an encouragement. One, was a man who would come to break my heart, and the other, a counselor who I paid a 20 dollar copay to every time I met with her. In return I was allowed to unload my overly thought filled brain and would hope with all my might that she could make some sense of it. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why I think so much, in detail, about every little thing… but I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I was for both of these respected people to say those words. “You think a lot”, said with a smile and a metaphorical pat on the back. I. Felt. Understood. With that, although the man continues to contact me despite our failed attempts at a functional friendship and that I continue to unload to my counselor, I need this. I choose to embrace my overactive brain. I will open my heart and mind wide open to the world and I will share my thoughts… Scary, right? What you do with that information, however you receive it, I accept. That is you, and this is me. Let’s embrace that truth together.
So… what’s this all about? My blog? Truth is, even with all that over thinking, I don’t fully know. Chances are it’s already exactly what it’s supposed to be. Ultimately my hope is to inspire and create. To have an outlet into the big big world that allows who I AM to shine and in turn, for you to allow yourself to do the same. Here goes nothin. (But hopefully a lot of something). Xoxo.